He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
