I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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