shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
