We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
