im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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