What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
