best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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