The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
