Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
