For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
