Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
