Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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