You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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