I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
