He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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