You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You made out with two different species that night
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
