i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
