I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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