he puts the penis in happiness.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
