Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
