we have officially lost it.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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