Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
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