guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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