Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
