We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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