Kiss
Puke
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
