Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
