if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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