Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
As shirtless as possible
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Why can't burritos get me drunk
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
