I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
