stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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