we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
