Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
