O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Randomize
