i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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