im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
love makes seman taste better
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I think people are normalizing furries
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
