I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
