There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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