So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
