Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
