he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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