My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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