Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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