woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
