Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
