Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Damn victory sex feels great
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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