2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
