guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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