Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
