I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
