I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
