you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
