so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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