At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
